Saturday, September 12, 2009

Enough Already

Riddle me this...why is Taylor Swift's music popular?  

woof woof

Riddle me this...why do some people buy the ugliest dogs on the planet?  

Size Matters

Riddle me this...why is it that you feel like you want to stop hooking up when you find out they're undersized?

Sharing, I don't think so

Riddle me this...What's more gay than two guys sharing a caesar salad...NOTHING!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Stranger? Really?

Riddle me this...why is it that guys will go a few days without texting you, maybe even a few weeks and then proceed to write "hey stranger..." You're the one not contacting us, you're the reason we're "strangers"

Friday, September 4, 2009

Harry and the Hendersons

Riddle me this...Who ever said back hair was in? If I wanted to see a gorilla I'd go to the zoo...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Banana Hammocks

Riddle me this...Who ever said it was okay for a guy to wear a speedo? Your manhood should never dangle in a thing known as a 'banana hammock' -- it looks gross!

keep it away from the face

Riddle me this...why do guys think it is ever ok to "shoot it" in our face? We're not looking for a new face cleanser, Neutrogena is working fine.

The Dreadful Kitten Heel

Riddle me this...Why does a 23/24 year-old female feel the need to ever want, wear or buy a shoe known as the kitten heel? You are not 52 and an accountant! 

rambling voicemailers

Riddle me this...why do some people feel the need to say the day and time that they are leaving you a voicemail? "Hey girl, it's me, its about 6:17 on Tuesday night, just got done working, i think I'm gonna go to the gym even though i really dont feel like it"...what happeend to the good old "hey its me call me bye"? Plus, pretty sure our voicemail tells us both the day and time you left the message. stop rambling, no one has time for it.

The Back Poke

Riddle me this...Why does a guy feel the need to poke you with his 'swollen beef tool' when he is in the mood? Seriously I don't want it!

4 cheeks

Riddle me this...why are adult women STILL not wearing thongs with tight clothing?

Truffle - a laxative?

Riddle me this...why is it that it tastes so damn good yet truffle, black truffle, truffle oil, and frankly anything truffle makes you want to sh*t out your insides?

Busy g chattters

Riddle me this...Why is it that people feel the need to put up the red "busy" dot on g chat at work? If you are really THAT busy, go invisible or don't sign on at all. You're not fooling anyone, and we know you're staring at your gmail screen hoping someone chats you to pass the day faster just like the rest of us.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Whoops

Riddle me this...Why can't I remember the last time I used a condom?

Seacrest, yes please!

Riddle me this...Why is it that Ryan Seacrest is the most bangable bachelor in Hollywood?

Bridget Jones...I'm just not that into you!

Riddle me this...Who said it was okay for Bradley Cooper to date Renee? Is she ever sober and is she ever smelling anything besides farts?

Funky Spunk

Riddle me this...No I'm telling you this, STOP eating asparagus! 

Thin Lip

Riddle me this...Why is it that when a guy has a thin lip he sucks at kissing - I really don't want to feel your teeth. I don't need an Angelina Jolie, but I need a little something! Have you ever heard of a thing called Juvaderm? Wikipedia it!

Height on TV

Riddle me this...Why is it that when I see you on TV and IMDB you, you're 6'1 but when I finally get my celebrity sighting you're clocking in at 5'7 (with your shoes on)?